Grieflections 2: Once Upon a Nightmare



It’s early morning. I’m on my way to a designated location, midway between Son’s new home and mine. My mission? Pick up Grandson and get him dressed, fed and off to preschool, because Son has an early call time at work. The area is familiar enough, but suddenly I realize I have missed the off-ramp for our rendezvous. Darn! I’ve got to get my grandson, so I keep driving, unsure of where I am but determined to find my way. I take the next exit and suddenly nothing looks familiar. I make a turn onto what I realize is a winding, dead end street and stumble upon a crime in progress - and a gun pointed at me. Shots are fired. I await the shattering of my car’s windshield, the bullets penetrating my chest. But nothing happens. I am not dead. As the dream continues, I am in a ramshackle bedroom, begging to call my son, who is expecting me to pick up his little boy. The kidnapper is considering my request, and I wrack my brain, trying to come up with a message I can give him that will alert him to the danger I'm facing without tipping off my captor. Nothing comes to mind. I’m panicking. And the terror I am feeling awakens me...


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I don’t have nightmares often. In fact I can’t remember the last one. What I do remember? Before That Day, George was always there to comfort me, even awakening me when my panic became an audible, muffled scream. A terrifying dream was always followed by a bear hug from my Kahuna. Consoling me. Assuring me I was safe, and dissolving my terror into his warmth, cloaked in soft comfort until sleep returned.

My Kahuna was always my Bad Dream Catcher. Now I need  these guys!


This was my first nightmare as a widow. Opening my eyes to the emptiness next to me, I tried to shake off the fear.  Alone. No warm chest in which to bury my head in comfort. No arms to wrap around me. No hand to stroke my hair, assuring me I am safe until I fall back to sleep. Instead, I am awakened to a racing heartbeat - and the reality of my aloneness. And the inability to go back to sleep for fear the dream will resume.

Instead of sleep, my mind raced with a sudden fear of being alone in a dangerous situation. What would I say if I were given one call? Should I come up with a safe word/phrase to alert loved ones? Do my kids have a way to locate me, via my phone, if I am ever lost or missing?

What triggered this terrifying dream? I’ll leave that to the analysts. For now, I’m going to imagine it with a comedic ending, hug George’s pillow even tighter, and check my phone’s location services.

And order a Dream Catcher. Just in case.



Sweet dreams, everyone.

Footnote: I made it to our rendezvous spot ahead of time this morning. Added Son, Daughter and Best Friend to my emergency contacts. Checked my location services and Find My iPhone settings while I awaited Son's arrival. Made Grandson his favorite breakfast - Gigi's famous waffle sandwich. And delivered him to school on time. I love happy endings.

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