52 Weeks

For better or worse, in sickness and in health...

52 weeks ago today. It’s Wednesday morning, and my always strong man is too weak to get out of his chair. His doctor instructs me to call 911. Best Friend rushes over. Daughter follows. She alerts Son.. We’re concerned, but hopeful.

Is this really happening?

The ER team is attentive and reassuring. IV antibiotics and platelets are now fighting the good fight. George is dictating text messages to clients, assuring them their upcoming court appearances will be covered by a colleague.

As nurses prepare to move him to the ICU, I sense their sudden urgency, and feel the rising tightness in my throat and unsettling in my stomach. George utters what were to be his last words to me, “Here, honey, take my glasses,” as he is transferred to a gurney for a trip down that all too familiar corridor to the ICU. Neither of us realized those words would be our goodbye...

"Honey, hold my glasses" - forever

Hours later, Thursday morning at 2:03 am, we wrapped our arms around him and said goodbye as he slipped away - his chemo weakened body no match for the infection it could not defend.

Memories of that day are both a blur, and horrifically clear. Writing them here, I remember the fear that consumed me. The reality one faces when losing their person. George was my person. I’d spent nearly my entire life with him. And still, 52 weeks later, I miss him to the depths of my soul.

Loved ones helped me fill this past week with joyful fun memories of my Kahuna. I’m spending today surrounded by my sweet Grands, and celebrating my son-in-law’s birthday. This is how I want to fill my days moving forward. Laughter. Fun memories. Gratitude.

But first I’m going to close the chapter on this past year with another road trip to mark a painful anniversary. April 18-19 will be dates forever tinged with sadness. But in true Kahuna fashion, I’m going to remember the happiness, the love, the good times, and the celebrations that made our time together so special.
Happier times -/we thought we had more time

I miss his Kahuna size hugs

I am blessed to have friends and family who indulged my very public, year long grief journey.

Treasure each moment with those you love. To my sweet George - Honey, I’m still holding your glasses. Wearing our rings. And grateful for our love that will last forever.
Forever...

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