TALES FROM THE (Widow) HOOD

·    10 Months   ·    43 weeks   ·    306 Days   ·    7344 Hours   ·    440,640 Minutes Today marks 10 months since That Day.   I’ve rounded the corner, nearing the homestretch toward the finish line of painful “firsts”. And that last turn was a double whammy! George’s birthday last week led me (and Charlie, my goofy Golden and constant sidekick) on a 400+ mile, 24 hour road trip to some of our favorite places. It was just us, and it was exactly what we needed. My Kahuna was with us. We both felt his presence.  Paso Robles, CA. His favorite winery Moonstone Beach, Cambria, CA.  Charlie, my  sidekick Three days later, my Valentine’s Day broken heart was comforted by an extraordinary outpouring of love from my Village. Cards, gifts, messages and dozens of roses, including 50 red roses from Daughter – symbolic of her dad’s last Valentine’s gift to me - r...

My name is Paula, and I am a Widow. There, I said it. The “W-word”. Checking "that" marital status box is still a gut punch. I am a widow who lovingly slips my wedding rings on my hand each day, while George's rings stay close to my heart on a chain worn around my neck. Like Elvis, my Kahuna has left the building, but my heart still beats to the rhythm of the lifetime of music we made together. I am a widow disguised as a married woman. And I am just fine with that, thank you very much. I have worn my scarlet "W"  for nine months. Am I adjusting? Yes. Do I laugh, find joy, and practice self-care? I do. Have I “gotten over” my Kahuna’s death? Impossible...  Nine months ago in a hospital ICU, I held George’s hand for the last time. As the respirator was disconnected and he took his final breath, I felt his grasp tighten ever so gently around my fingers – his assurance that he would always be with me. I know he wants me to be happy again. But I miss the “me...